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How to Suicide Your Ambitions and Other Survival Skills



Remember when you wanted to do something marvelous with your life? Then you grew up, started working to pay bills, and had to essentially abandon your dreams once you realized everything you wanted to do had already been done.


Well, don't give up all hope just yet. Even YOU can Suicide Your Ambitions and still survive the jungles of mediocrity with whimsy and wonder.


For example, I like those little videos called GIFs (Graphics Interchange Formats)




These are just a total of three of my most commonly used little video things. I like that the folks in the video are easy to recognize. Familiarity makes me feel safe, and that seems to be the driving factor in almost everything life serves us these days. Wouldn't you agree?



Survival skill number #1- Don't make people think too hard. A picture really is worth a thousand words unless it is AI-generated, and then, in that case, it's probably only worth a couple dozen.



 

I once told a co-worker that I didn't appreciate them writing a message in our Team Chat group in all caps. Well, color me surprised when I found out that old-school AOL chat room decorum was retired, and what we type doesn't mean what it used to. Here are a few examples:


brb= bring red pickles

lol= look over left

omg= own my gun

idk= I'm done knitting

ttly= thanks, that looks yummy


Survival Skill #2- IT IS OKAY TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS NOW. ANYONE WHO THINKS YOU'RE SCREAMING AT THEM IS JUST AN OLD, IGNORANT, FUDDY DUDDY, AND THEIR OPINIONS DON'T MATTER.



 

Sometimes, my arms bend back, and other times, they bend forward. Then I do the hokie-pokie, and I turn myself around. And really, that is what it's all about.


Here's another GIF.




Survival Skill #3- Dance. I promise everything that was once daunting shrinks under heavy breath and sweaty pits. Dance while all your blood is still pumping.



 

I would love to leave you with more to consider, but I'm late for my morning date with Self Loathing. Plus, I'm pretty sure I took too many vitamins today. Until next time.


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